Reveal: A Blood Riders MC Novel (Book 2) Read online

  “Yeah? You think he has what it takes?” I heard a smile in her voice.

  “Sure. He just needs a little help. He talks about his mom sometimes, but not his dad. Never his dad.”

  She made a sympathetic noise. “That seems pretty common,” she mused.

  “Yeah. It is.” How the hell had we started talking about the kid while we were in bed together? It seemed a little weird.

  “He just needs a father figure in his life,” she decided. “The way you had Jack.”

  “I’m sure you’re right.” I wanted to let the subject drop—I didn’t like the way she kept going back to it. She was trying to get at something, but I wasn’t sure what. She didn’t need to convince me to be nice to the kid.

  “I think you would make a wonderful father,” she whispered.

  So that was it. She must have felt the way I stiffened at her words, and she lifted her head to look me in the eye. “Did that freak you out?” she asked, eyes searching my face.

  “How could you tell?” I tried to joke. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, like there was a two-ton weight on my chest. I couldn’t breathe. A father? Was she kidding?

  “I upset you. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” The disappointment in her voice was obvious. I didn’t know what else to say. She knew I didn’t want kids. Didn’t she? I stared at the ceiling, thinking about it. Trying to remember if we had ever talked it out. We must have, sometime in the two years we had been together. Right? Damned if I could remember a single time, though.

  She put her head down again, and I didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t make me want children if I didn’t want them. That wouldn’t be fair. And I didn’t. I couldn’t see myself as a father, and I damned sure didn’t have time for kids. I had enough to worry about with the club. What was I supposed to do with a kid running around? Kids needed time and attention. I didn’t have either of those things.

  “Are you gonna stop talking to me now?” I asked. I didn’t mean to sound irritated, but it came through.

  “No,” she said. Just that one word.

  “Okay.”

  Silence. Then, “I just wish I had known that.”

  “What? That I have never once in my whole life thought about having kids?” I looked down at her, and she up at me. I couldn’t believe she didn’t know. “We’ve never once talked about having them.”

  She pushed herself on one elbow. “I know. I didn’t think we had to.”

  “And I guess I didn’t think we had to talk about not having them. We were both wrong.”

  “Yes. I guess we were.” I couldn’t believe she would get so angry with me for something so stupid.

  “So we’re okay?”

  “What? No, we’re not okay.” She sat up, wrapping a sheet around herself. “This isn’t okay.”

  “Well, there’s no compromise, is there? You can’t split the decision. You want them, I don’t. There’s no in-between.”

  “And you’re not willing to think about it?” There was so much pain and surprise in her voice. I hated to hear it, but there was no way she would get me to change my mind.

  “Not really. No. I’m sorry if that makes you unhappy, but it’s something I feel strongly about.” I shrugged.

  “So strongly that you never felt the need to tell me you felt that way. I see.” She nodded, smirking. “This sounds like something you just came up with because I happened to mention it.”

  “Oh, no. Believe me, this is something I’ve thought for a long time. It’s not new.”

  “I just don’t understand how you can dismiss the idea without at least thinking about it first. I mean, before we met you never saw yourself in this sort of relationship with a woman, did you? The kind of relationship we have?”

  “That’s true.”

  “And now that we’re together…Maybe things could be different. I don’t know.” I watched her turn away with a hand over her mouth like she didn’t know what else to say. I wished there was a way for me to convince her that there was nothing else to be said. I didn’t want kids, and that was that.

  “I’m sorry this has you so upset,” I offered.

  “What a shitty thing to say,” she spat.

  “What?”

  “You’re sorry this has me upset. You’ve upset me. This hasn’t. You have. You’ve really hurt me. I wish you could understand that.” She got up, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I watched her cross the room to the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m sleeping in the guest room. I can’t be around you right now.”

  “You’re still on the Pill, right?”

  It was probably the worst thing I could have said at that moment, and as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. She didn’t even turn around to look at me—but her head fell a little.

  “Yes, Drake. I’m still on it. I wouldn’t make a decision like that without talking to you about it first.” She turned to me then, disgust all over her face. “Who do you think I am, anyway? Why would you want to marry me if you thought I was that kind of person?” She didn’t wait for a reply before leaving.

  I wanted her to come back. I waited for her to come to her senses and realize she was being a total idiot about the whole thing. Plenty of people went their whole lives without having kids, and they were still happy. We were already happy. What was the big deal?

  I waited for her to come back. And she didn’t. I ended up falling asleep waiting, and when I woke up in the middle of the night to find I was still alone, it took me a long time to fall back to sleep.

  12

  Nicole

  To say I had a bad night would be an understatement. I’d spent at least an hour crying, then one in which I’d punched the pillows over and over until my arms ached, then another hour in tears. All the while I’d hoped he would come to me. He never did.

  How could we have never discussed children? After all that time, we’d never talked about our hopes for a family. And I’d accepted his proposal with an open heart, so sure we would be happy together. Only to find out that he never wanted to have children with me. What a terrible realization.

  As much as I wanted to avoid him, I had work to do at the clubhouse. There was talk of a new business venture bringing in new cash flow, and I was hoping to get some information on it and on when I could expect to see the money coming through.

  I felt a different energy in the clubhouse when I stepped inside. I’d stopped at the coffee shop a few blocks down to pick up drinks for Tamara and me, and I nearly dropped them on the floor when I saw four complete strangers sitting on the couches in the lounge. Female strangers. Scantily clothed female strangers. All four of them looked me up and down with disinterest, then went back to their phones. Tamara was behind the bar. I went to her, questions buzzing around in my head.

  “Who are these new girls?” I asked Tamara, leaning over the bar so the girls wouldn’t hear me. They were all very pretty—extremely pretty, in fact. They were high-maintenance, I could tell, all looking as though they’d just come from having their hair and nails done. Three of the four seemed to struggle with typing on their cell phones thanks to their obnoxiously long French manicured nails.

  “You don’t know?” Tamara looked surprised, her eyes wide.

  “Know what? What the hell is going on?” I hated being the last to know anything, especially when it was something that could make my friend look so surprised and horrified at the same time.

  “They’re the new girls. The ones working for the new business.”

  “What new business? What are you talking about?” Tamara looked like she wanted to die even more with each new question I asked.

  “Nicole.”

  “What?”

  “I think you should ask Drake,” she finally said, turning away. I caught sight of her reflection in the mirror, and she looked pained.

  “Ask him what? Come on, Tamara. I thought we were friends.”

  “We are, which is why
it’s killing me to have this discussion with you.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe he didn’t at least warn you.”

  “If you don’t tell me, Tamara, I’ll kick your ass. Just see if I don’t. Now what the fuck is going on?”

  “Okay. Okay. Okay.” She turned back to me. “Listen.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “So―the club is in business with another motorcycle club. The Vipers.”

  I held up my hand to get her to stop talking. That was all I needed to know. It all made sense—the growing excitement of the guys, the way Drake kept giving them dirty looks whenever they said too much in front of me. That idiot.

  “I’m going to kill him,” I whispered, closing my eyes. I couldn’t believe his stupidity.

  “Wait, Nicole. Come on. You know you have nothing to worry about from Drake.”

  My eyes flew open, and I laughed at her misinterpretation. “That’s not my problem. I don’t even care about that right now.”

  “So what do you care about?”

  “The way the police are on the club’s back because of me. And he knows it. He walked right into a perfect reason to get his ass arrested.” I could hardly stand his stupidity, his arrogance. If only he had said something to me …

  “Oh, shit.” Tamara’s eyes went wide. “I didn’t know that. If I had known …”

  “I know, I know. You would have told me.” At least somebody would have. I took one more look at the four girls, with their long legs and short skirts, and my blood began to boil. The office door was closed. It wouldn’t be for much longer. I stormed over to it, ignoring Tamara’s pleas that I stop.

  I found my fiancé sitting behind the desk the way Jack always had, typing away on his laptop. He smiled when he saw me, but that smile faded when he noticed how murderous I was.

  “When were you planning on telling me about this?” I asked, pointing to the lounge. I watched him struggle not to squirm under my questioning. He knew why I was pissed, and he’d be a much stupider man than I thought to play dumb.

  “I didn’t think I needed to tell you these things,” he said, his tone cool. I looked at him, sitting there behind the desk. Like he owned the place. Well, he pretty much did.

  “Who are you now? Now that you’re the club president?” He had hurt me so much, I couldn’t stand it. My heart felt like it might break while he sat there, looking at me like he had no idea why I would act the way I acted.

  “I’m the man who has to make decisions for my club, that’s who. You’re the one who warned me that we were losing more money than we were bringing in.” He folded his muscular arms over his equally muscular chest. He wouldn’t back down an inch, I could tell.

  “Right, but I’m also the person who warned you that my father’s friends were keeping a strict eye on the club, Drake.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean, Nicole?”

  I threw my hands into the air. “Are you fucking serious? There’s no talking to you when you’re like this,” I groaned.

  “Tell me. What does it matter that they’re watching us so closely?”

  I leaned toward him over the desk. “It matters because prostitution is illegal, dear. And you just got the club all wrapped up in it. Congratulations. All Tommy or any of the other cops need to see is a bunch of hookers walking in and out of this place.”

  “They won’t see hookers. They’ll see girls just like you or Tamara or any of the others.”

  “Oh, bullshit.” I spat the words at him. “Don’t try to sugarcoat this. It’s not working on me. They’re prostitutes, and now you’ll be on record as having business with the Vipers. Hell, everybody knows the Vipers are into prostitutes.”

  “Yeah, and they managed to travel under the radar all this time.”

  I snorted. “Don’t kid yourself. The cops only look the other way because the Vipers control prostitution in town instead of letting it get out of hand. They’d rather have men go to the “classy” places than pick crack whores up off the street and spread God only knows what diseases.”

  “And you know this because?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You know why. My undergrad degree comes in handy for some things, you know. And my father knew all about these things. I’m not exactly blind to what goes on around here.”

  “Fair enough.” He shrugged. “It’s too late now. We can’t go back on the promise we made to the Vipers, or on the money we’ve already handed over.”

  I shook my head in shock and disgust. “You never once thought to talk this over with me first, did you?”

  “Like I said, I’m the one who makes these decisions. Not you. Just because you’re my old lady doesn’t mean you get a say in things.”

  “I’m your old lady.” I laughed, turning away. “What an honor.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means I’m okay to have around as long as I agree with the choices you make and I keep you idiots in line, and I keep your books for you. The minute I bring up something you didn’t think of because you were too busy being proud and arrogant to give it a little thought, you act like I’m some common trash off the street who doesn’t have a say in anything.”

  I heard the squeak of the chair, telling me he was standing. “Let me get this straight. You actually think that being my old lady means you have a say in anything that goes on around here? That you get a voice in our meetings, our votes?”

  I spun, my eyes shooting fire at him. “No, I didn’t say that. I know I’m not a voting member.”

  “So, what? You think you can control things from behind the scenes?” He scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. He was reminding me more of Jack every day, right down to the gestures he made.

  “I think I deserve to be clued in on things like this. I would have reminded you of the police bearing down on you, on us. They will stop at nothing to put you away. You understand? Nothing. They’re looking for any little thing that will shut the doors and put you behind bars, thanks to my idiot aunt stirring the pot. You have to be more careful than ever, and what do you do? Get hooked up with whores. Congratulations, President.” I made sure he heard the sarcasm in my voice. I was so furious, I could have thrown something. Only the knowledge that the rest of club sat just outside the door, along with a bunch of whores, stopped me.

  “Thanks for the heads up, but I had that in mind when I accepted the deal.” I knew he hadn’t, and he knew he hadn’t, but he would rather have swallowed glass than admit it to me. All he could think about was making money for the club, expanding business, forging new alliances. I respected that, naturally. He was a smart leader. He was also extremely proud and stupid.

  “Whatever. It’s your funeral,” I said, going to the door.

  “You know, I can run this club just fine without you, Nicole. I don’t need your help.”

  I turned to him. “You need somebody’s help, that’s for sure. But it won’t be mine.” I walked out, heading for my office. I needed to go home. I had to get away from him, from the club and everything around it. For the first time, I wondered if maybe my aunt was right. Maybe we weren’t meant to be together.

  “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean, damn it? I’m not finished talking to you!” I locked the office door, leaving him to pound on it with both fists. I tried to ignore his calls, going so far as to hold my hands over my ears. I couldn’t stand it. I just wanted a little peace.

  I shrieked in terror when I heard the door slam open. He’d kicked the knob.

  “You’re insane!” I spat, holding up a desk lamp. “Don’t come any closer to me.”

  His face fell when he saw how serious I was. “You don’t think I would hurt you, do you?” He glanced at the lamp, then back at me. It was like somebody had flipped a switch. All the fight had drained out of him.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know you right now.”

  “I’m just angry. I would never put a hand on you. I’m sorry I let myself get out of control like that.”
<
br />   I felt like I was only seeing him for the first time. “How do I know you’re not going to do something like that to me one day when you let yourself get out of control?”

  “Do you hear yourself right now? Do you know who you sound like?” Yes, my aunt. I put the lamp down, sinking into my chair. I was humiliated at the thought that the club was privy to our fight. I should have waited until I got home to confront him—my temper had flared out of control, too.

  He sat on the edge of the desk, close to me but not touching me. “Look. I’m sorry,” he murmured. “You’re right. I should have mentioned it to you first. This was a big deal I was making, and it’s not like hookers are something … innocent.”

  I snorted. “Nothing you do is innocent, Drake.”

  “I know. But you know what I mean. They’re a threat.”

  I snorted louder, looking at him. “Do you honestly think I’m threatened by them?”

  He shrugged. “Aren’t you?”

  “You’re such a sexist piece of shit.” I stood, getting my laptop bag. I shoved the laptop inside and zipped it shut. “You don’t get it at all. I’m going home. You can come home when you finally figure out what the real problem is.”

  “Maybe I won’t come home at all.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.”

  He rocked me to my core. It took a few seconds for the meaning of his words to register. I turned to him, and the stony look on his face told me he meant what he said.

  “Fine. Don’t. You’re used to sleeping alone here, right?” I walked to the door.

  His words stopped me. “Not alone.” I closed my eyes, clenched my fists, but kept moving forward. He wasn’t going to bait me again.

  “Fuck you.” I murmured to myself.

  “Hey, Nicole. Sweetie. Come on. Don’t do this.” I ignored Tamara as I stormed through the lounge, past the bar, and out the door. She couldn’t get me to change my mind about Drake. I didn’t care anymore that everybody knew our problems, either. They needed to see what a dick he was. How stupid he was for letting a woman like me get away from him.